I am Jennie of J.B. Tols.I am an interior designer, photographer, blogger, advocate, adventurer, wife and mother

September 19, 2019

If you are ready to escape from your attacker/abuser, this is escape plan is no guarantee that you will be successful. This is just a tool with suggestions which I find useful based on my experiences.  

1. Be determined to go when you go.  Resolve that this is the real deal and that there is no turning back.

2. Never threaten him and tell him that you are going to leave. Business as usual…then GO! 

3. In case you will not have access to your home any longer, make copies of all legal documents before leaving and hide them off-site. 

4. Once you are out, immediately file for a protective order for yourself and your house/belongings. Most clerks offices have forms on hand that they will let you fill out. They should be free of charge. DO THIS! If not, all of your things might end up on the lawn in flames. A protective order gives you some rights back. 

5. NEVER leave your children behind–no matter what! Attackers have been known to kill the children in retaliation.

6. If you think that your attacker may be home when you are trying to get away, call for a police escort

7. Be ready for the unexpected. You could wake up and your attacker has taken your vehicle. Can you call a moving truck or taxi cab at the last minute? 

8. Find out how much rent will cost you. Get a high and low price. Save first and last months rent for the higher of the two amounts.  If you do not have access to funds, apply for housing assistance–never give the office your cellphone number or current address. Give them the number to your prepaid phone and explain your situation to them.

9. Slowly move out. You can go through things in the attic and start to move things out box by box. Rent a storage facility or have a friend or relative hide things for a period. 10. Have cash hidden off-site.If you do not have access to funds, go to a local church or crisis center and explain to them that you may need a small amount of cash just to get you through the first couple of days.

11. Take images of all of the contents of your home. Take images of your car. Take images of the exterior of your home. Process the images and then send them to someone you trust or put them in a safety deposit box.  If the images are digital format then email them to a private email account or store them in a private cloud account. They will be invaluable later on. Try to date stamp them or have a current newspaper in the pics. Your attacker may try to say that you vandalized the family home–or anything after you leave. It happened to me! Cover yer’ butt. Or, they will say that you didn’t own this or that if you try to get some of the contents of the home in a divorce.

12. PRAY and ask others to pray. You would be surprised by the strength that you can possess during a time like this when backed with your own prayers and the prayers of others.


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